Chronicles of a becoming: Remembering love

She wrote: “To whom do I owe the woman I have become?”

Vanessa Mártir's Blog

The other day, while reading Audrey Lorde’s Zami: A New Spelling of my Name, I felt inspired by the way she started what she called her “biomythography.” I loved the idea of starting a story of yourself and your life by answering some critical questions:

To whom do I owe the woman I have become?

I wrote about my Millie. The way she’d grab the brim of her Kangol, always fresh and black, and say, “Yo soy butch,” but the way she said it, she did this wave thing with her shoulders, like she was dancing salsa but just with her shoulders, “not caring whether or not she was a poem.” (Audre Lorde, Zami)

I wrote to the men who couldn’t love me, who taught me that love is not sex. Those wounds you left by our loving have scabbed over but their cicatrix will remind me always that…

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